Alien Update

Seems as though I have a few requests for updates on the
aliens I supervise on a daily basis.

The aliens have gotten noticeably bigger .
I have so much material to work with hmm lets see maybe
 it would be best if I covered each individually.
Firs t of all there is the older of the aliens , the female
alien.
Her looks have taken off by leaps and bounds
it seems as though and on a daily basis she has
Bumps that swell beneath her clothes.
One day the girl alien with have a chest the size of her
alien mother figure the next they are smaller . The best I can figure
each item of clothing comes with its own built in chest .
Although I myself have never had those types of clothes but
she does dress rather retro .
Tags or maybe come alongs have grown from her ears .
The best I can tell maybe in there planet when a alien
hits a certain age they are marked in a different form .
The female alien has also developed the ability to say
one thousand words in twenty seconds or less
using the word "Like" at least 500 times in one conversation.
A simple question leds into a description of other aliens
clothing and attitudes.
The female alien spends time everyday frying her
hair straight then curling it again this along with the
ritual painting of the lids seems rather important to her now.
Stragely enough the boy alien has taken on some traits
of his own . The majority of conversation is a slur of
wordds and the only ones I catch are war and craft .
When he converses with other aliens from the
dwellings surrounding us they seem to understand
each others lingo.
The male alien like the females look has changed
immensely as well .
He seems to have let his usually short hair grow long like
the females (maybe thats why they tag some of the females)
He seems to have a emotional problem when it comes to
grooming it though and seems quite comfortable
with not combing it for days .
The two aliens have developed there own language
between them that of course the alien keepers
have not cracked either.
Much to my surprise I allowed the male alien
to bunk with me one night.
Within a few short seconds of his arrival he was l
talking and sucking all the oxygen away so fast the
fact there was an extra 10 feet was not even
 more than a seconds talking.
He now talks as fast as the girl alien .
Leaving p
He seems to feel the need to leave a trail
when ever he moves from one room to the other
I think it might be a fear of losing his way .
These aliens may look like our children
but they dont talk like them or act like
any child any half sane person would of ordered.
Beware as I do think they are trying to
slowly take over our world...........

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;

I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin.

I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.

This room's a disaster, just look at this mess!

 

Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.

They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!

My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.

The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

 

There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;

frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.

Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;

my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.

 

I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;

Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.

He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;

then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"

He looks all around and with total regret, says,

"What's taking so long....aren't you through in here yet?"

 

As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;

He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!

He flees from the room in terror and pain

and screams, "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!!"

 

Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?

Oh darn, it's the pies! They're burned all to hell!

I hate to admit when I make a mistake,

but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.

 

What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?

If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.

Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;

It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.

 

But I promise you one thing, If I live 'til next year,

You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.

I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;

and if that doesn't work, I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!